I celebrated my 22nd birthday last March. I am a fun loving girl with dreams. Dreams, just like any other girl of my age, I dream of dancing like Alia Bhatt, be famous like PC, walk a ramp, look like Deepika and talk like Sush. I want to work in one of the MNC at Delhi NCR, my dream capital since the day I heard it first.
I defined the road straight to NCR, joined an MBA program at Mathura, my hometown and was thrilled when I was shortlisted to pursue my internship with a well known corporate at Delhi.
It was my first visit to DILLI, mere sapno ki nagri. We were a batch of 16, all were apprehensive, restless and excited all feelings jumbled up yet open to receive from the historical world capital.
We were awed by the organization, its people, management and most importantly the way they made us feel. I always held close to the belief that it is how people make you feel, accordingly you associate your whole self with it.
For the convocation I was given responsibility to thank the corporate. Four CEOs of famous brands were invited to share and encourage us. We were excited and nervous. I must have rehearsed my speech 10 times in front of the mirror, with friends, without friends, looked for clothes, shopped from the secret money what my mom placed in my palm hiding from dad. I carried the hope of my parents, the pride of my institute. The tension had gripped my stomach. I carried Hanuman Chalisa in my pocket. Well groomed I thought, tied my hair back, wore the new official shirt, wished I had the new trousers and the shoes too. I turned my collars well.
My name was announced and as I took the first step towards the podium, my feet froze, OMG, I actually froze. I felt many weights tied to each step. The moment stopped when I turned to face the crowd. I could see my confidence leaving the room. Suddenly, with a thud the door was shut and I retrieved the almost lost soul. Caught up with my breath, held the podium tightly, saw a pleasing face to connect with and I spoke.
Honestly, I was petrified, frankly I forgot. I spoke in hindi, in English, stopped in between, regained, encouraged, altered my stand and just rattled. I was always a good orator in past. What happened then, was unusual, so not me.
I saw the most handsome of all gentlemen recording me. I ignored and blushed simultaneously. By the time I finished, the applauds made a faded impact on me. Later, the company announced my name as one of the two interns honored with the job offer. Really, were my ears betraying me? Celebrated, forgave myself and glided back to my roots all filled up with confidence and courage.
Exactly 5 days later, I received a forward along with a write up on my mobile which said ‘ Watch, enjoy and forward the wannabe in the open zip’
I was shocked to see my video going rounds with the attachment. Who, How and Why would anyone do that? Video was okay but such a derogatory attachment. Was this my classmate who was always jealous of me, Kavita or was it Akash who I had refused to entertain? But we all belonged to Mathura, why would they? My friends called and I was terrified to answer.
Oh was it the CEO who was recording that day? Really, this was how the big city stalwarts look down upon us? Were we jokers? Open zip! What kind of people wrote that? Were these the corporate we dream of joining? How many people must have seen my video, my college, my friends, my brother, oh my god! Let me check the youtube or should I check my fb? I thought of remaining locked up in my room for a few days. I died many deaths in that one hour. I never forgave myself for wearing the old trousers. I hated my hair, my words, my new shirt. The time just stopped and I must have regained my consciousness after hours. Surprisingly, somebody guided me to rise above, to relax, muster up courage and delete the video forever.
Yesterday 16.07.17, I learnt my first lesson to remain humble. Especially the day I become the CEO of a corporate someday, one day.
*As shared by the girl herself
